Do you have any friends that just seem to have all of their shit together on social media?
You know…the ones graduating from law school, starting killer jobs, launching companies, buying homes, getting married, giving talks and gallivanting around the globe. They’re the ones I’ve been Facebook-stalking for the last 45 minutes while I put off writing this blog post. The ones that I'm simultaneously envious of and excited for when I see how well they seem to be moving into adulthood.
I’ll be honest with you, I have a lot of friends like this. When I see their posts on Facebook and Instagram, I feel frustrated and disheartened. I try to put on a good show, but often don’t feel like I have the same wherewithal or foresight to plan out my career or structure my goals in such a coherent way that I will be living the glamorous life of a digital nomad with a picture perfect family all at the same time.
Life is busy, and if I somehow have time and energy left over after coming home from a long day of work, I’m much more likely to go for a run or watch Netflix than I am to sit down and spend an hour mapping out my life goals.
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Time and time again, I fall into the trap of comparing myself to others. Frozen by inaction because I think to myself, “I will never be perfect,” or “nobody will accept me.” Who can relate?
So how do you and I tap into that inner motivating force that tells us to go out there and create new things? Or set out to accomplish new goals even when fear and rejection feel crippling?
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As I've worked to set clearer goals, I put this system in place and want to share with you. It's helped me immensely as I’ve looked for ways to improve my overall level of happiness in my day-to-day life.
How did I come up with this? I sketched out this framework (I hate that word, but it works in this instance…) after speaking with close friends and like-minded millennials that I felt represented the “gung ho” spirit I hoped to foster in myself. I also read a ton of articles and books on topics related to goal setting and motivation, some of which sucked but a lot that drastically improved my ability to reach my goals.
What is this magical framework? I call it the “START” framework. Similar to the idea behind setting SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-based) goals.
5 Steps To Make Anything Happen
1) Simplify.
Reduce the number of outside distractions in your life, and cut out as many decisions as you can to leave more time (and energy) for creative pursuits. This means cutting out activities that reduce your focus or affect your mood in specific ways. I stopped listening to the news in the morning because I found that it depressed me and continued to distract me throughout the day. I also made an effort to avoid television after work during the week, instead choosing to spend time with friends or reading.
Ultimately, if you're not sure it's time to cut something from your day-to-day routine, ask yourself one simple question: “Does this activity enhance or improve my life in a significant way?” If you answer in the negative, it’s time to seriously consider ways you can reduce the time spent on that activity, or cut it out entirely.
2) Target.
This requires the most effort out of all five steps, but it's hands down the most important. Spend 30 minutes to an hour thinking about what you want to accomplish in the next 3-6 months (short term goals). Then what you want to accomplish in the next year or more (long-term goals). Write these goals down and put them somewhere where you will see them every day. Sometimes it is easiest to start with what you want to accomplish in the long run, and then reverse engineering those goals to fit your needs.
Also, don’t forget, make all of your goals SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-based). This will keep you grounded and make you accountable to yourself as you identify ways to take action on those goals.
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3) Act.
Do something. Do anything. Stop thinking and make a move. I think humans are programmed to look for ways to avoid work whenever possible. If we fear being ridiculed for our work, or have little to no experience, we're much less likely to take action in an area. Still, the best way to improve is through practice, and practice takes action.
Make a pact with yourself to do something each day that will enhance or improve your life. Whether it’s taking action by making a step towards accomplishing one of your short term goals. For instance, training for a 10k or learning to cook amazing paella. Or creating a game plan to tackle a long-term goal, like starting a new company or going to graduate school. Take one action or create one thing that takes you closer to accomplishing one of your goals.
4) Review.
Commit to reviewing your progress on at least a semi-regular basis, be it once a month or once a year. Take note of what worked well and what didn’t. Figure out what you can improve next time around. I do this once every six months so. This way I have the opportunity to make progress on my goals before I perform a thorough review. In Google Drive, I keep a list of my personal and professional goals in a spreadsheet. This makes it easy to look back on them at any time.
What I’ve found is that I will typically have one or two goals that I have made strong progress towards and am very proud of. At the same time, I’ll have another three or four that require significant work. Usually, I have three to four goals on my list that were unrealistic given the circumstances. In that case, I re-evaluate whether or not to adjust them or remove them completely. This is normal, and you shouldn’t be disheartened if you set your sights too high at first. You may in fact realize that by setting optimistic stretch goals (also know as “BHAGs”, or Big Hairy Audacious Goals) you're more motivated to perform and do amazing things.
5) Translate.
As you make progress on your goals and start to change the way you think about the strategies you implement, take the best practices you’ve developed and translate them to other parts of your life. Maybe you’ve made huge progress on your personal health goals, but you’re still looking to change your career path. Take the motivational techniques you’ve developed and translate them into a job search or the creation of a new business plan. Once you’ve developed these skills in one area, the same framework will support you in enhancing other aspects of your life.
This may seem simple, but you'd be surprised by just how many people never think all the way through what they want or how they'll get it.
The steps I’ve outlined above may not be right for everyone, but the reasoning behind them is sound. I’ve spoken with millennials around the world on the topic of motivation. Moreover, I’ve seen talented young people waste their time and grow frustrated because they lack the foresight and planning to take that next step toward accomplishing their goals. This framework provided me with a platform for taking that next step, and I hope it can help you too.
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List of 5 Steps To Make Anything Happen
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Simplify
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Target
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Act
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Review
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Translate
GRAB TCM's guide to goal setting
This weekend I decided to step it up and work on my goals so this is so perfect for my motivation!
Oh wow! Perfect timing!
Great tips! I hate that being a 20-something is basically this tunnel of confusion where we’re all trying to figure out what we want while also trying to answer adults everytime they ask what we want out of life. But stuff like this helps. Gives us a bit of direction in figuring it all out.
Haha I totally agree with you Alyssa!
Simplify is one I need to work on a ton, as for me, it has a lot to do with prioritizing. I have a habit of naturally putting everything as high priority when that really isn’t reality.
I get that! I always use Time (most urgent) and Value (as in what it means to me/my soul/happiness) to prioritize things and it’s been really helpful.
I’m a horrible "act" person. It’s funny though, some of the best moments of my life have been when I’ve taken a leap of faith (often with very little planning) and jumped in head first.
This post is just what I needed to read right now, I’m at a precipice and need to take a jump!
xxox
Laura @ http://www.cookwineandthinker.com
Me too! I find I need to just get things done, and deal with whatever the aftermath is later haha
I loved reading his process of goal setting – so eye opening!
Glad you liked it Jenny!
Totally can relate to this! I do feel though that the busier I am, the more I accomplish
-Morgan
How 2 Wear It [] http://how2wearit.com
Me too!!
Such great tips. I can definitely relate to this!
Glad you enjoyed Michaela!
I love the idea of this! I always get so wrapped up in the moment that I forget how to actually achieve things.
http://www.kayleighskloset.com
Haha I’ve so been there too!
I love the "START" steps! I’ll definitely remember that one.
Alix | http://www.apintsizedlife.com
Glad you liked Alix!
What excellent motivation! I think playing the comparison game can only be healthy if it motivates you to do great things with your own life 🙂
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
TOTALLY AGREE! Sometimes I think comparison is good, it acts like a barometer for where we should focus our efforts, but too often it becomes overwhelming and has negative effects on us!
Love this! Planning things/ goals out and putting things into steps really does help accomplish things! I should do that more!
Definitely! It’s the only way I get anything done haha!
Love this! It’s so easy to remember, too. I’ll have to write it down.
Tori
http://www.mooretori.com
Glad you liked it Tori!
I love this! I can definitely relate to feeling like I don’t quite have it "figured out" as others. But these tips are definitely helpful towards helping me stay focused and reach my goals.
That’s awesome Teresa! I don’t think any of us will ever feel like we have it "figured out" haha
I just love this, what a great post!! Ill have to keep this in mind
http://xoxobella.com
Thanks for reading Bella!
Thank you McVal this is brilliant. I was talking to someone just this morning who is achieving crazy things and I was amazed to be able to fit everything she said into your framework!
That is SO cool Claudia!!
This is so in-depth and genuinely fab. Plus, THANK YOU for touching on comparisons we all feel and do…and how important it is to just push those aside and START!
http://cominguprosestheblog.com
Totally agree! I always need to just do it, and learn from my own mistakes otherwise I will be frozen with insecurities!
Wow this is great! Thank you for the motivation and advice. This was such a great read.
with love, danielle
http://www.glamrme.com
Glad you enjoyed Danielle!
Great tips. I’m a huge fan of goal setting. I set big, long-term goals at the beginning of the year and then smaller, bite-sized goals at the beginning of each new month to keep me on track. And my husband and I do a ‘state of our union review’ every year on our anniversary to gauge how well we are doing keeping our family going in the right direction (we’re not very romantic people as a rule ?).
All your goals are attainable if you take small steps toward them, each day! And you gotta have patience. 🙂
Agreed… as long as they are realistic like McVal mentions! In other words, if your goals are dependent on someone else (like i want to repair my relationship with my mom, but she’s not open to it) then it’s not really attainable. You have to set goals within your control to follow all of those steps!
This is a great way to achieve whatever you like… thanks for this! Would a good read and motivating 🙂
Love this! I especially love the SMART aspect… I find being realistic is number one for me, nothing worse than setting yourself up for failure!
YES! I find realistic to be the biggest struggle too!
I just love this post. For years I have always struggled with step 3… Act. If you have a lot of ideas but don’t act nothing gets accomplishes.
Ooooh love these tips on how to appropriately create a game plan. I’m very type A but sometimes get frozen in my tracks when it comes to picking a plan of action.
oh my gosh yes!! this post is so good. I’m like Nicole and super type A but some times if I don’t create my game plan for the next day then I’m super flustered the next day. Taking a deep breath and getting organised the night before can help. I also manage to extend that to weeks and months to try and keep myself on track
Great list! I’m constantly coming with (what I think) are great ideas, but they never get off the ground. I’ll have to keep this in mind.
Yes…stop thinking and move. When I started my design business, I spent more time writing and editing my business plan than actually going out and getting clients.
Love the idea for START goals, I’ve heard of SMART goals before but this is the first time I’m hearing about START and I love it 🙂 very realistic and doable!
I love this! START goals is a catchy way to remember the steps too. I especially like the idea of Translate. That is something I haven’t heard of (or done!) before and I think it would be helpful to translate goals skills from one goal to another.
I seem to keep returning to your blog. Love what I am reading here. And in this post you started off with one of my favorite steps that people often miss – simplify. We just must think alike.
This is so great! Your posts always give me so many ideas!
These are really great points! It’s always about visualizing and then taking action!
I’ve been loving all these guest posts lately! This post was so inspiring.
It’s actually the exact same number since the day I start! I do one ever other week lol but happy you like them!
I moreso meant the content in the most recent posts. lol
ahhh haha brain fart! totally agree! I feel like as TCM’s rep has gone up the quality of submissions has gone up! We picked some good ones for the next 2 months!
Awesome tips! This was so inspiring
I am that person who gets down about how someone’s life appears to be on social media! I always feel as though I am not doing enough but I know it isn’t fair to compare. I love the idea of keeping up with goals and I’ve just started to write mine down in order to track my progress.
These are such amazing tips and thank you for the reminder that I’m not alone feeling like I’m not getting stuff done.
These are perfect! Especially the simplify. Thank you for sharing!
Goal setting is an important part of living life. Without having goals and a clear plan to attack, there can be a huge lack of fulfillment. I believe if people don’t need a plan of any sort, the goal is not big enough!
I love the simplify step. I actually have such a hard time with this. These are wonderful tips. Thank you for sharing.
These are really great tips! I love the simplicity because it shows that it’s really not all that complicated to get what we want in life, we just have to be determined.
Also, is it bad that when I first saw #2, I thought of the store? I was like “Yes, true, Target is the key to happiness.” lmao!!
I would have simplify at the top of my list too. It clears to the way to manifest your dreams.
Yes yes yes!! These are great steps, I definitely agree with simplifying whatever you are trying to achieve. It can be tough because people tend to overthink everything and then miss the small, simple things!
xo
This is an awesome guest post!!! We need to start taking charge of our futures and FOCUS.
I love that you separated short term goals and long term goals, as that really is a huge necessity in order for me to be productive! I need to get better at applying the method of successes from one area of my life to another- I love how you phrased that!
I’m really trying to learn how to simplify and make the most of my time. It isn’t always easy.
Comparison is SO real! And it is def the thief of joy. I love these practical steps though!
Simplifying has been absolutely key for me!
Simplify is a really great tip! I tend to forget that in the grand scheme of things.
I really needed this post. I’ve been going through it at work and it’s been SOOOO hard to not compare my life to those of my Facebook friends. I try everyday to act….to control what I can control and not worry about anything else.
I SO NEEDED to read this!!! Lately I’ve felt like my life is in a million different places right now. Simplify and Target are two things I need to get on asap. GREAT post- thanks for sharing! XO