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Itunes .99 Movie of the week:
ICYMI: Each week Itunes does a .99 rental! You can rent it and “watch now” giving you 24 hours to finish it, or “watch later” giving you 30 days with it. Once you start it though you have 24 hours to finish it!
This week’s movie: Captain Fantastic. A dad raises his family in a secluded paradise then has to take his six children into society for the first time. Avg. rating: 7.1/10
*This movie is not free with Amazon Prime, so this is the cheapest way to watch it at this time, if you missed it you can rent it from Amazon Prime here.
Television:
If you did not spend last weekend binge watching Santa Clarita Diet then you are missing out on LIFE!! No joke, Netflix hit it of the park with this one.
Drew Barrymore is a zombie and it's all about navigating life as a mom/wife while being a zombie. It's morbid humor at it's best… and TBH I feel like Netflix was spying on me and the hubs, because it's like they literally wrote their characters for us (if I was a zombie of course).
Week 6 Bachelor Recap:
Andddd we're back at it again wit the Bachelor recaps!
Let's pick up with Taylor stalking out Nick and Corrine's second part of the date; only to come off like a petty little B:
Taylor: I am not here for me, I am here to help you. Vanessa said she is giving the rose back if you keep Corrine around. I just think you are being an asshat. Oh and B T Dubs, so not a bully.
Nick: Uhhh… K thanks? I know you're not a bully. So… I'm going to go now… DUECES!
At the rose ceremony Nick sends home my beloved Alexis #RIPSharkDolphinGirl! Jamie, and Josephine.
Next stop on Nick's search for a Instagram wife: St. Thomas!
TRUTH: I need a Lorna or Raquel. Corrine knows how to liveeeee. Fluffed towels? Steamed clothes? Poolside snacks? Uhh, why is everyone hatin'? Because they weren't smart enough to think of it?
Meanwhile, this weeks one-on-one date when to Kristina.
Sorry Corrine, I hate to break it to you, but Kristina is what in fact makes America great. Seriously, if you didn't shed a tear during Kristina's life story, then you are heartless and you and Trump deserve each other.
If I wasn't already #TeamRachel or #TeamAlexis or #TeamRaven for Bachelorette, I would SO be #TeamKristina! I really hope she goes on Paradise. I just want to see more of her. She seems wayyyy to good for this show, and I am beyond curious why she decided to do this show.
Next up is the group date:
Yuppp that was pretty much my face during this entire group date. It was beyond painful. All the girls kept saying how sunny and fun the day was going to be, and all I could think, “that looks windy and cold AF, someone get these girls some cover-ups STAT.
After the “volleyball” game all the girls decided this was a good time to sit in isolation and cry… Nick really knows how to plan a good time!
While everyone is napping or crying, Jasmine is hulking out:
And Raven is proving once again, she's too cool for school.
After the horrible beach date, Nick found himself wishing for a case of the body snatchers and that the second part of the date was magically going to be oh so much better than the first part… WRONG.
One, after another, all the girls proceeded to tell Nick how displeased they were with the day.
Finally, Jasmine loses her ish, and actually CHOKES HIM!
She proceeds to continually repeat that she wants to choke him and punch him, and he keeps asking her to stop, but she KEEPS GOING. Then she pours her heart out, says some weird kinky shite, and gets sent home in the middle of the date.
This was such a mess of a group date – I don't think a rose was even given out… did anyone catch a rose go out??
The last date of the week is ANOTHER 2-ON-1!!! With Danielle L. & Whitney.
… I guess Nick is feeling the same way about Danielle L. as I was last week.
They don't even mess around on this date. It goes from helicopter to one-on-one time where he basically tells Whitney she's super hot and is going to choose her, then goes and hangs out with Danielle L. who tells him how much she likes him, so he clearly feels guilty as Whitney seems to just be there for the tan and not him, and decides to send her home.
Whitney to Nick and Producers; and also the girls at the house to each other: “D.Lo isn't ready for a relationship” <– no sh*t, she's there for the Instagram campaigns post Bachelor OR to be the first “ethnic” Bachelorette…
FFWD to the evening portion of the date with D.Lo and Nick:
…And actually believing the crap coming out of my mouth…
It becomes painfully honest that D.Lo and Nick have zero chemistry and that she is saying all the textbook things you're supposed to say at this point, but it doesn't seem like she means it.
Nick clearly doesn't feel it either and sends her home.
Nick takes a moment to cry it out alone, then with the producers, then stops by the girl's place to cry to them.
Nick: “Yeah so, I was super excited about Danielle, I really thought she was wifey material, but I lost that feeling and now I am freaking out I am going to lose it with all of you… but don't freak out! …Okay I am going to go cry myself to sleep now.”
Corrine: “Oh sh*t! Nick actually thinks he's going to find a wife after all of this!
All the other girls: OMG My heart hurts for him. What do we do? Does he not see a future with us? WTF IS GOING ON?!?!? Should we pack out bags?
Raven: Y'all take a beat, it would be weird if he wasn't feeling like this. He's thought this was going to work for him two times before and now it's obviously kickin' up some stuff for him. I feel for him. Let's empathize and chill. #Raven4Bachelorette.
But for real — between the cheating thing and her monologue in this scene, I really feel like they connect on an emotionally intelligent (did I use that correctly, TAYLOR?) level and could be soul mates.
And then Nick drives off into the night, alone… and we get set up for next week for the moment we have all been waiting for since night one of this trainwreck: Corrine finallyyyy offers her “platinum vageen” up on a silver platter *YAY*
Item I Can't Live Without:
Noise Cancelling Headphones! Construction has started on our balcony, which means literal jackhammering on the other side of my “office” wall and above me head alllll day errryydayyy ?. But these babies have been literally saving me life!
Currently wearing: Coffee + Messy Buns Tank
girl I LOVE your bachelor recaps!! this is by far my least favorite season, yet I can’t stop watching…won’t stop LOL
xx, Lo
haha thank you!! Who are you rooting for at this point?
My sister raved about the Santa Clarita diet…but I think it may just be too gory for me! I’m totally a baby when it comes to gore!
You are the second person that’s said that too me! The ear burger promo freaked some people out I think? It’s not gory at all IMO. Like they show “blood” but it’s a comedy so it’s not focused on gore at all really. And the scenes were “gory” things happen are usually funny so I was laughing and not really thinking about it (I will say though, the opening bathroom scene is probably the most gory of the entire show, that was hard for me to stomach and I don’t mind stuff like that), so you could skip the first episode or the first half if you wanted to avoid it
I am heading over to check out that tanktop you’ve got on. Sounds like it’s right up my alley!
Lol it’s a favorite! I love their tanks they are super soft!
hahaha omg I almost died over the choking scene–SO AWK. I couldn’t handle the suspense anymore so I haddd to look up spoilers for what happens (: And yay for noise-cancelling head phones!
SO AWKWARD!! Like he is literally saying stop and no and you keep going?!? — I looked SO ridiculous yesterday on my video calls with them haha but at least I could hear them! haha
Raven’s turnip quote made my life. MY LIFE.
Coming Up Roses
haha she is literally amazing. I want a spinoff of her and Alexis just hanging out doing life together haha
Is it sad that one thing I really miss about America is The Bachelor?! I used to be addicted!
Haha this season is one for the ages!! Can you not get it on hulu or apple tv?
I HOPE Raven is the next Bachelorette if she doesn’t make it til the end! They are setting her up pretty nicely in editing!
Haha agreed! Buttt they are also setting Rachel up really well too and they are supposed to have a non-white girl for Bachelorette (caila was supposed to be it last time but Jojo rated SO much better they did a last minute switch) — but I totally think they are final two and if they don’t make it to hometowns I will be SHOCKED!
I’m basically scared that the Santa Clarita Diet will give me nightmares…
http://thesofieyahdiaries.com/fashion/valentinesday-outfits
Really?? Why?? It’s not scary at all, it’s a comedy.
Ive heard that the Santa Clarita diet is scary!!
That’s so weird?? It couldn’t be less scary… like at all. Unless your like 6 years old maybe haha there is a lot of “blood” but not in like a gory way, just in the “her shirt and face are covered in red stuff” way.
I tried watching Santa Clarita Diet but I didn’t get through the first half hour, wasn’t a fan of it! I felt like it was too cheesy! Everyone else says it’s scary and I love horror films, so maybe I’ll give it another try haha
WHAT?!? It definitely is a specific taste of humor. I thought it was HILARIOUS!! I think the first episode was my least favorite though since it was just “Setting it up” — it’s definitely not scary?!? I have no idea who or why people would say that, so do not go in with that expectation. I love horror movies to and this is no where close!
OMG. The group date from this past week’s Bachelor episode was cringe worthy. I will say that it was cool to see the girls and Nick travel to St Thomas. I was there on my honeymoon in July. We didn’t stay at the Marriott, but we drove past it. Can’t wait for the next episode!
Katie | http://www.millennialonthemove.com
OMG I could not even! – Awe that’s cool!! I think it’s fun when they go places we can recognize! Who are you rooting for?
Totally! In my Bachelor Fantasy Bracket (my team name is “Josh Murray’s Pizza” – hahaha) I have Vanessa getting the final rose. Obviously I had to make my picks a while ago without really knowing much about the girls. At this point in the show, I really still like Vanessa and I like Kristina. I feel like Vanessa would be a good match, but who knows. It seems like Nick doesn’t know what he wants sometimes. How about you?
Haha my Bachelor Fantasy Bracket is ALL wrong! I don’t even like the girls in it any more haha – I didn’t see what everyone saw in Vanessa until her one-on-one so she wasn’t in it, but I do love her! I think it’s going to come down to Rachel or Raven now I think Vanessa brings out a good side of him but I think ultimately it would break down since she kind of seems like she’s on a moral high ground (if that makes sense?) and it will leave her either disappointed with him or him feeling insecure or shamed that he isn’t good enough…
Santa Clarita Diet has been in my queue! I really want to binge watch it now.
Alix | http://www.apintsizedlifeblog.com
YASSS! DO IT!! It’s hysterical!! Honestly, it’s like the perfect mix of cheesy, dark, awkward, dry, morbid humor! I was crying I was laughing so hard haha Let me know your thoughts!
Oh the Bachelors. Totally my guilty pleasure. But I need to see the Santa Clara diet!
Haha mine too! It’s the only reality show I watch and am totally obsessed! haha Let me know your thoughts on Santa Clarita Diet! The first episode was the worse IMO (I still liked it but a lot of people have told me they didn’t get passed it)
Love your recaps!! They are the best and I don’t even watch the show. Love those headphones as well. Could of used those on the plane yesterday!!!!
HAHA awe thank you! Where were you visiting?
I’ve heard some great things about noise canceling headphones! I’m not watching this Bachelor season but sounds like I’m missing lots of drama!
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
haha I should better watch bachelor
dooooo ittt haha
Love you bachelor recap haha. ALSO! They just started construction on my balcony too and it’s literally the worst. SO loud and now there’s just a pile of bricks sitting where a functioning balcony used to be! 🙁 lol hope your construction isn’t super disruptive!
UGH It’s the worst!! We actually moved out of our last apartment because of heavy concrete construction and this landlord lied to us about construction happening here 🙁 I can’t escape it!! haha Hope yours isn’t too bad!
You are so adorable! I love the noise-canceling headphones pic – and the way you write about The Bachelor is just precious. I don’t even watch the show and I was feeling all the feels because of how you wrote about the show. Ha! I’m excited to see the next installment of your Watch Now series!
xoxo Lauren | Glitter & Grandeur
Awe thank you!!! That made my morning Lauren!!! <3
It was such a weird episode of the bachelor. But yes Corrine knows how to live!
haha agreed. tonight is going to be insane i think!
I don’t even watch The Bachelor, but I though your re-cap was hilarious. I’ll read again just for that haha!
Awee thank you Cameron <3 <3 That like made my morning! haha
This is such a cute round-up post! I don’t watch the Bachelor but your recap of this week’s episode has me dying to start this series! Can’t wait to read more 🙂
– katrina // Yours Truly, Katrina
Lol thank you Katrina!
I caught up on Bachelor later this week and was like dang…Nick is really whittling them down fast. To be honest, I’m not really invested in this season at all, so I find myself not caring much what happens. Not sure it’s looking good for him though!
Haha he dropped everyone last week!! Like 95% of the time it doesn’t work out haha so it’s probably not going too but that’s why I love to watch. What was your favorite season?
keep hearing such great things about the santa clarita diet, def need to watch it now! also goooood god this season of the bachelor is such a trainwreck haha.. though I def empathize with Corinne’s “I’m so athletic I’m going to sleep” announcement on a spiritual level. And so happy that Jasmine is gone because she’s also insane. #teamkristina after this week for sure! love your recaps girl x
Ohh I think you would LOVE it! It’s kind of cheesy humor but like morbid too haha — Excited for tonight’s episode!!
I am so behind on The Bachelor, but after your re-cap and hearing from friends I need to catch up, like now! I have heard so many crazy things have been going on!
Tonight is going to be CRAY!!! This is the episode I’ve been waiting for ALL season and Chris Harrison teased on Ellen a few weeks ago!
I also devoured (no pun intended) Santa Clarita Diet! It was so outrageous it was hilarious!
HAHA YASSS!!
I could never understand people’s addiction to The Bachelor. I personally can’t stand that show, because I’m 100% it’s all made up. Sorry…
Cristina | *janded
Why are you apologizing? I 100% agree with you, that’s what the producers job is to do — produce the storyline they want! It’s totally crafted, they even have a therapist feeding producers lines to hit on the contestants past and get specific reactions out of the clients. But that’s why I love it haha it’s so ridiculous! I watch for the comedy and drama, not because I think it’s real life or I believe in a fairy tale haha I also look at this people who believe that and roll my eyes
I am SO obsessed with the Santa Clarita Diet too. I love Drew Barrymore and it’s just a funny show. I can’t wait to see where the story line goes next season.
Same!! It was SO good!
Last week’s Bachelor episode made me fall in love with Kristina and Raven. Like I seriously want to be Raven’s best friend! Haha. Your recap made me giggle, and I’m excited for this week’s recap!
XO, SS || Seersucker Sass
I’m so excited for this week’s episode! This entire season is just LOL and I couldn’t agree more #ravenforbachelorette
I love this entire thing! First, Dave and I also started watching Santa Clarita Diet and watched almost the entire season yesterday. Also, the Bachelor. I’m team Rachel, Dave is team Kristina all the way lol. Basically we’re both just team Not Corrine.
Your Bachelor recap is hilarious and spot on! I will be going and reading the rest of them!
oh gosh- the choking scene was probably the most cringe worthy thing I’ve seen in awhile. But I am totally team Raven… i just love her!!